The Might of Guy
by Cyberkyd
Summary: Instead of sending him back to his friends on earth, King Kai accidentally sends Goku to the Village Hidden in the Leaves where he trains with Naruto. But will even Goku be able to stop the traitorous Guy and his army of evil Lee Clones? And when Mr. Popo joins the fray, which side will he be on? Crack, Naruto, Guy, Goku, Popo, JiraiyaXTsunade
1. A Slight Miscalculation

The following takes place in the middle of the Saiyan Saga in DBZ and just before the Sasuke Betrayal Arc in Naruto. This is a side project, so please expect shorter chapters. I may post more often if I get some interest, though. Please enjoy!

* * *

"Well, Goku, you have learned the Kaio Ken and the Spirit Bomb. I think you are now capable of saving your friends."

"Thanks for the exposition, King Kai!" Goku exclaimed brightly. "Now can you send me—"

King Kai held up one chubby hand. "Wait for it..." Suddenly Goku's halo dissapeared as his friends wished him back with the Dragon Balls. "Now!" King Kai snapped his fingers and Goku vanished. Satisfied with a job well done the little cricket-like man went inside to watch Gladiafor and eat cookies.

Two weeks later King Kai's telephone rang, annoying the immortal cricket out of his corn-syrup-induced slumber. "King Kai's residence."

"Hey, King Kai! Long time no see."

"Oh, it's YOU, Krillin."

"Yeah. Anyway, Goku... Hasn't arrived yet. Is everything okay up there?"

King Kai stared at the phone for a moment and then began counting on his pudgy blue fingers. "Errrr... I MAY have made a slight miscalculation..."

"How slight?"

"Shut up, Krillin." King Kai hung up, removed the phone again, and then started dialing numbers as soon as the dial tone returned.

* * *

The phone was ringing. Kami picked it up and listened for a minute. "It's for you, Mr. Popo." The lord of all evil took the handset from Kami and put it to his ear, ever-present sadistic smile spread across his face. Without saying a word he slowly lowered the phone.

And began to laugh joyfully.

* * *

Naruto and Jiraiya sat in the ramen shop, discussing the difference between frogs and toads. "But they both hop, theh both have the creepy eyes, they both have long sticky tongues..." Naruto was reasoning.

The Toad Sage shook his head and swallowed another bite of boiled pork. "Tell me, Naruto," he finally said. "Have you ever seen a frog breathe fire?"

Naruto thought about this. "Hmm, I guess not." While Jiraiya wasn't looking he deftly stole a piece of meat.

Suddenly Guy appeared beside them, perfect teeth sparkling in the dim sunlight. "Hey you guys. Lady Hokage wants the three of us to in-vest-i-gate a weird-looking newcomer. So pack up that food and get ready to roll!

"Really? A newcomer? Why does she need us?" Jiraiya swiped away Naruto's thieving hand without looking.

"Apparently he has some kind of really high chakra levels. Away!" All three ninja disappeared, leaving the shop owner to wonder who was going to pay the bill.

Goku looked in awe around him at the giant trees of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. "Whoa. I think King Kai made a little mistake," the Saiyan said to himself. He looked around again. "Or maybe a big mistake..."

The three Leaf Village Shinobi appeared before him, clad in bizarre garb much different than any sane person would wear. "Whoa! Are you an escaped convict?" Goku's finger was pointed at the mystified Naruto in his bright orange jumpsuit.

"What's a convict, Pervy Sage?"

Goku caught this and drew himself up indignantly. "Pervy Sage!? Women are one of our most valuable natural resources and not to be treated like objects!"

The three ninja just stared. "I think he's crazy," Naruto whispered to his companions.

"Well anyways, he's overflowing with the power of youth!" Guy gave the thumbs up and flashed a huge grin at Goku.

"This man looks as if he likes to torture small children," Goku thought to himself. He began to edge away from the still-grinning Guy. "Um, is there any food around here...?"

Naruto pushed past the Toad Sage and gestured towards the village gate. Anyone who had the sense to avoid Guy-Sensei must be a good guy. No pun intended. "Yeah, we were just having lunch when the creepy man wearing a flak jacket even though it is completely useless in actual combat interrupted us."

Goku nodded wisely. "Ah, he's one of _those _characters. Mind if I join you?"

Jiraiya laughed and the two ninja and Goku returned to the village and their noodles, much to the relief of the shop owner. Meanwhile Guy Sensei stared after them, his grin now menacing and eyes as cold as ice. "It's gonna be fun crushing that little squirt with all the rest." He stretched and leaped into the forest to find some squirrels to torture. "I looooooove exposition," he said as he lifted off.


	2. Sake and Sasori

"Lady Hokage, the newcomer is here to see you."

Tsunade swiftly raised her head as if she had not been sleeping moments before and tried to look wise. "Ah, erm, good, send him in then." The generic leaf Shinobi messenger paused and the Hokage grunted impatiently. "Well, what is it?"

The ninja shifted back and forth on his feet. "Master Jiraiya and Naruto Uzumaki are with him..."

Tsunade sighed and waved him away. "Just let them in, you moron." As soon as the messenger had left the room Tsunade pushed a few empty sake bottles behind the magnificent Hokage desk, whipped her hair back into line, and wiped her face with a handy cleaning cloth. By the time her messenger knocked on the door again, Tsunade looked as if she had been diligently studying ninja law for hours. "Come in."

The heavy doors swung open, granting the two ninja and the newcomer entrance. "Wow, so this is the Hokage room."

"That's right, monkey man! Right where I'm going to work one day. Hey Grandma Tsunade! We brought the visitor you asked about." Naruto wasted no time in plopping down on the ground and stretching out.

Jiraiya shook his head severely. "Naruto, show some manners to the Fifth Hokage. Oh, what the heck. I'm tired." He joined his student on the comfortable mat floor, leaning against the wall and leaving Goku looking down at them mystified. "Ya got any of that sake lyin' around, sweetheart?"

"Soooooo... Ima sit too." Goku flopped beside Naruto. "Join us, chief!" he smacked his lips. "Did someone say something about sake?"

Tsunade drew herself up in outrage but then just gave up. Dealing with these two idiots was like trying to drink up the sea. Impossible in the first place, and doing it too long can be detrimental to your health. "Fine. Just one bottle of sake, and then to business."

Three hours and six bottles of strong wine later the four of them were laughing hysterically at the stories Goku was telling of his childhood and Tsunade's band of generic ninja messengers were on edge. "They've been at it for three hours," one said tensely. "How long do we have to sit here?"

"Until Lady Hokage takes it upon herself to return home," his companion replied. Nobody said anything more for a while, instead listening miserably to the raucous party taking place indoors.

"I'm hungry." They all sighed.

Guy walked along the streets of the Hidden Leaf Village under the cover of darkness. Soon his plan would come into fruition and the whole of the village, from the snotty little brats in the Genin Academy to the old lady Tsunade herself, would know the true Power of Youth. With a deft leap Guy disappeared from the village and leaped from tree to tree as he traveled deeper into the forest. Around him little squirrels and birds fled in terror at his manly virility, exploding outwards in the purest expression of the Power of Youth which had ever appeared in the world.

* * *

The manly ninja came to a stop in front of a nondescript (read: stereotypically cliche) cave and, after looking around to make sure he had not been followed, entered into its depths. Carefully Guy inched his way along in the darkness until the sounds of machinery met his ears. Finally he stepped into a side-passage and into a dimly-lit cavern where piles of machinery and cogs lay scattered across the ground and mass-production machinery lined the walls. In the center of the room sat Sasori, his Akatsuki cloak discarded and the framework of a puppet in his arms. The puppet maker did not look up as Guy entered but merely spoke. "How is the original holding up?"

"Pretty well, as full as he is with-"

"Yes, yes, the Power of Youth." Sasori twisted a gear into place with a click. "How much time do I get?"

"A couple weeks, at the most. The old lady really wants to operate soon."

"Fine then. I'll have it done. And you'll deliver the boy with the Nine-Tails to me as payment?"

"Of course. Anything's possible-"

"With the Power of Youth. Got it." Sasori rolled his eyes. Itachi had forced him to take this job so they could get their hands on that Uzimaki kid, but it was almost not worth it... "Anything else?"

Guy thought hard. "No, just checking in. Really nice what you've done with the place, by the way." He waved and set off back down the passageway. "See ya, Sasori!"

The puppet crafter didn't even look up. "What an idiot."

* * *

Meanwhile, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Naruto, and Goku were getting drunk.


	3. The Morning After

Hey everybody! I hope you've been enjoying the story so far. Sorry if it seems kind of awkward at the moment, I'm having a bit of a hard time making it funny but not a complete and total butchering of all characters involved. Pretty hard . I'd really really appreciate a review or two so I can learn what you think and how I can make this story better. Any particular character you want to see? Any suggestion is welcome! Thanks for reading.

* * *

"Lady Hokage?" The generic messenger ninja had all been standing outside the Hokage office all night, and they were all quite tired. "It's morning, Lady Hokage."

"Shuddup." Tsunade's muffled voice came groggily from behind the closed door as she awoke, and it did not sound happy. "What time izzit?"

"Nine in the morning, Lady Hokage. Shall we bring breakfast?"

"No. Go away."

"But-"

"I SAID GO AWAY!" There was a crash as the Fifth Hokage hurled a bottle against the thick door. The generic messenger ninja fled in terror. On the other side of the door, the three remaining partiers were likewise waking up and rubbing their heads.

"That was _good_ sake," Goku sighed as he looked longingly around at the bottles strewn across the floor. He yawned and sprung to his feet. "So, what are our plans for the day?"

Jiraiya rubbed his aching head and stared at the Saiyan in disbelief. "You mean to tell me you're just fine?" He shook his head. "I must be gettin' old." He turned his head. "What about you, Naruto?"

"...Make it stop..." the Genin moaned as he clutched his head in both hands. "...It hurts..."

Tsunade flicked a pellet at Naruto and Jiraiya before taking one herself. "Herbs. They'll cure the hangover," she said shortly. As the pain receded her foul mood receded somewhat. "So, Goku."

The monkey man in question stopped his energetic morning stretch and turned to face her. "Yeah?"

"You said this King Kai person sent you here on accident. So I suppose the hospitable thing to do would be to direct you home, but I really can't spare any ninja at the moment. A lot of them are already gone on missions and I need the rest in case someone attacks the village."

Goku thought about this. "You know, it might be best just to wait for King Kai to figure out his mistake and send me back. I could always use some extra training. Anyway, my friends are really strong! I'm sure they can beat up those Saiyan guys when they come."

* * *

Meanwhile, on Earth, Krillin suddenly shivered.

"What is it?" Chichi asked.

"I dunno. I just got this chill, like something really bad just happened."

* * *

Meanwhile, in space, Vegeta got a sudden fit of the giggles.

"What is it?" Nappa asked.

"I dunno. I just got this feeling like someone just said something really hilarious."

* * *

"All right then." Tsunade pointed to the two Shinobi. "Naruto, you are in charge of our guest for the time being. Make him at home. Jiraiya, I need to talk with you for a bit."

Naruto waved at her and started out the door. "I'll take good care of him, believe it! See ya, Pervy Sage, Grandma Tsunade. Come on Mister Goku."

The Saiyan sprung up and followed Naruto. "All right, thanks for the drinks, chief!" The two exited, leaving the Sannin by themselves in the office.

"What's up, sweetheart?" Jiraiya asked. Tsunade did not answer at first. Finally she spoke.

"Jiraiya, you've gotta stop with all the flirting. Honestly. I'm not just another one of the girls you're always stalking; I'm the Hogake and you will treat me with respect."

The Toad Sage laughed and started to leave. "Hey, I'm not a member of this village, remember?" He stopped and turned to look into her eyes. "You're right though, sweetheart. You're not just another one of those girls. You're special. See ya then!" And he was away.

Tsunade sighed and sat back down at her desk. The headache was returning, despite the herbs.

* * *

"So, Mister Goku, whaddya wanna do?" Naruto and Goku were trudging down the village streets, taking in all the bustle of the city. "Oh, I guess I should probably show you where you'll be staying."

"All right." Goku kept looking around him at the unfamiliar city nestled away in the forest, so different from even any of the bizarre places he had seen throughout his life."Just call me Goku, though, 'kay?"

"Sure. Here, this' my place!" Naruto unlocked the door and thew two entered.

"Whoa!" Goku stared at the messy, filthy, disorganized room in awe. "This' the kind of house I'd have if Chichi didn't keep making it all clean and boring."

Naruto opened the fridge. "Hmmmm. Breakfast time!" He whipped out a carton of milk and put the kettle on for instant ramen. "I wish I could afford the real stuff for all my meals but hey, instant's better than nothing!"

Goku flopped down in one of Naruto's creaky chairs and sighed in comfort. "Aaaaah, this is the LIFE. Just two guys and some instant ramen. No Chichi making us eat veggies or have manners or _nothin_'." He scratched himself. "A guy could get used to this."

The ninja looked him fearfully. "All that happens when you get married?" He began to have second thoughts about the neat and tidy Sakura. "You know, maybe the bachelor life is the one for me after all." The two ate and talked about manly (read: pointless) things for a couple hours, and then Goku got up and stretched.

"So, when we gonna do some training?"

Naruto joined him, cracking his knuckles eagerly. "All right, let's go have some fun! Pervy Sage always does boring training for his book but we can get some sparring in or something. Follow me!"


	4. I Can Fly!

Hey everybody! Thanks for reading. A review would be greatly appreciated so I can have an idea what to work on. Any character you'd like to see in the story? Every suggestion helps!

* * *

"This' my old training ground where I'd go before I was a real ninja." Naruto gestured widely at the grassy clearing. Goku looked around, impressed.

"Cool! Reminds me of my own training days." He stretched, vertebrae popping noisily. "King Kai just taught me an awesome new technique called the Spirit Bomb. I'd show you, but then I'd have to kill you. Literally."

Naruto cocked his head. "Spirit Bomb? What's that?"

"I spend five minutes screaming and looking ripped while I suck the soul out of every living creature on the planet. Then I throw it at my target and either he or the rest of the planet blows up."

The ninja nodded. "I see. Like the Rasengan Tactical Nuke."

Goku stared at him. "Whoa." He started hopping on the balls of his feet. "So, we gonna start training?"

"All right. Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Naruto crossed his fingers and summoned fifteen shadow clones which formed a ring around the impressed Goku.

The Saiyan grinned and flexed his muscles. "Ah, I see, you're moving so fast it looks like there are a ton of you. So that means if I do this..." he suddenly dove for the space between two of the shadow clones, face-planting in the soil and drawing looks of bewilderment from Naruto and his clones.

"Uhhhhhhhh, Goku?"

"Ysh?" His voice was muffled by several pounds of soil.

"What are you doing?"

"Plnng mh nrxt mrv."

"You might want to plan in a place where you can breathe."

"Grd rdr." Goku lifted his face from the dirt with a sucking sound, leaving a face-shaped crater in his wake. He looked around him at the clones, blinking dirt from his eyes. Naturally, his main-character features were unmarred by the horrendous impact which would have shattered a normal human being's face. "So... Those are actually clones? Not a fast move trick or something like that?"

The sixteen Narutos scratched their heads in unison. "Uh, yeah. You never seen a clone before?"

Goku pondered for a moment and then got an idea. It was the first idea the Saiyan had received in over three years. "Hey Naruto! Why don't you teach me how to make clones... And I can teach you how to fly?"

Naruto's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

* * *

Sasuke was walking down the streets of the Hidden Leaf Village, contemplating which form of pain would be the most fun to inflict upon himself that day. "Perhaps I could throw myself off a cliff," he mused to himself in a toneless voice. "Or I could practice the Mangekyo Sharingan in a mirror." He stopped, a bright idea suddenly entering his head. "Or maybe," he intoned blandly, "I could go on a date with Sakura."

Suddenly Naruto spun through the air above him before disappearing over the tree line. "Sasuke! I can flyyyyyyyyyyyy..."

Sasuke stared emo-tionlessly at the spot Naruto had been just a moment before. "The fangirls are coming for me, aren't they?" He sighed. "Time to join Orochimaru I suppose. Only he can save me from the Yaoipocalypse..."

* * *

Naruto landed dramatically with one fist punching the ground in front of the mini army of ten Goku, breathing hard and grinning. "That was the most awesome thing EVER!" He started running in circles hyperactively. "I was all like ZOOM! And then I was all like 'Hi Sasuke!' And then I was all like BOOM!" He finally flopped on the ground contentedly. "This is a thousand times awesomer than jumping into trees."

Goku tried summoning more clones, but the field too full of buffness to admit another Saiyan. "I know, right?" The clones started sparring with each other, causing massive craters in the surrounding ground with every hit.

The ninja raised his head and addressed Goku. "Hey, monkey man! Wanna have some real fun?"

Goku stopped fighting. "Like what?"

* * *

Jiraiya was pleading with Neji as the Hyuuga boy bashed at a wooden post with his bare hands. "Oh come on, Neji! I just need to borrow one eye. One eye, and all my research will be complete!"

"No."

"Pleeeeeaaaase?"

"Get off my property, dirty old man."

The Sage muttered angrily. "Dirty old man. I'll have you know I inspired the name of the main character!"

"And now we are forever doomed to be second fiddle to a boy who is named after fish puree."

Jiraiya ignored this jibe and began wheedling again. "Come on, just for an hour? I'll give the eye back right after that, I promise."

Neji kept pounding away at the post. "Hey Jiraiya?"

Hopefully the Sage raised his head to look at the Hyuuga boy. "Yes?"

"Do I need to demonstrate the Eight Trigrams Four Thousand Ninety-Six Palm on you or will you leave peacefully?"

"All right, you win." Jiraiya sighed mournfully and shuffled out the of the Hyuuga dojo, lamenting the hard-heartedness of Neji and all his ancestors.

"Hey Pervy Sage!" Jiraiya looked up drearily to see his student and the newcomer standing in front of him.

"Naruto. Goku. Can you leave me alone? I can't have my way so I'm going to mope for the rest of the day."

Naruto drew close, whispering in his ear. "Goku here can teach you how to fly."

Jiraiya's mouth slowly twisted into an evil grin. "Really. Tell me more."

* * *

Meanwhile, in space, Mr. Popo stopped for a bite to eat. Fortunately for the Necromancer Ancients of Calciphion-132 Beta Popo was just peckish, or he might have eaten more than their Immortal Space Priest Emperor. "I'm coming, Goku," the genie said sadistically as he made his way leisurely through the dimensions separating the two worlds.

On Naruto Earth, Goku shivered.


	5. In Which the Fourth Wall is Raditz-Weak

Naruto, Goku, and Jiraiya were all hovering above the clouds, deeply engrossed in nefarious plotting. "Okay, so then Goku will divert the guards and I can grab the noodles." He gestured in the air, outlining his plans enthusiastically. "And Pervy Sage can drive the getaway car." He turned to Jiraiya. "We do have a getaway car, right?"

The Toad Sage scratched his head. "What's a car?"

Naruto waved him aside with one hand. "Never mind. We'll just fly. Anyway, we'll all meet back at my place and split the booty. Any questions?"

Goku's stomach growled. "Don't worry about it, come on!" The three raced away, leaving clouds shaking in their wake.

* * *

Bili the dumpling shop owner looked around warily. He had a feeling something very bad was coming. He could smell it... It smelled like noodles. And regret. It was weird.

All week that pesky Uzumaki kid had been trying to get free sweet rolls. Something about him being the pivotal character. Bili would have none of that, though. Regardless of what the biased camera angles told him, he knew that one day a lowly dumpling owner might become even more important than a Jinchurichi holding a Nine-Tailed Fox.

Wait-something was happening. That sage guy was coming up to the stand. Bili put on his business grimace and leaned over the counter. "What'll it be?"

Jiraiya slowly looked over the menu. There weren't very many options. "Hmmmmm... Sweet buns, sour buns, sweet and sour buns, sweet buns in soup, sour buns in soup, sweet and sour buns in soup." He paused, and then glanced at Bili. "Do you have spicy won ton soup?"

Bili looked dully at the sage. "If it ain't on the board, we don't have it."

The Toad Sage tapped the counter. "Hmmm... What about seaweed broth?"

The dumpling shop owner glared at Jiraiya in disbelief. Was this guy a moron? "No..." he said slowly. We don't have that either. Is it on the sign?"

Jiraiya stared at Bili as if the dumpling shop owner were dropped on his head as a child. "You have only six items on your own sign," he began slowly, "and you can't even remember them all?"

Suddenly Goku crashed through the roof, hopping up and down and clanging a pair of cymbals together. "I'm a monkey!" He cackled. "I'm a ****ing monkey!" Bili reached for his ninja 12 gauge.

The following events were so brutal they were not allowed on this site, so we will skip to the part where Naruto, Jiraiya, and Goku were eating slightly bloodstained dumplings at Naruto's place. "Nice plan, Naruto," Jiraiya said between bites. "Might have done with a little less bloodshed, though."

"Yeah." Goku was stuffing whole dumplings into his mouth and washing them down with huge mouthfuls of broth. "That was kinda creepy. I've never seen limbs detach like that before." The three munched in silence for a bit, and then Naruto spoke.

"We are so watching an Elfen Lied marathon tomorrow."

* * *

Sasori was tinkering away when Guy entered the chamber again. "Heeey, Sasori! How's it-"

"Shut up."

"Yooooou got it! I was-"

"No, seriously, shut it. You'll have the puppets done very soon, but for now, SHUT IT." The puppet master sighed in annoyance. Why him? Why him?

* * *

Tsunade rubbed her aching head. When would this paperwork end? She took a quick glance around the room, saw nobody, and pulled a jug of sake from under her desk. "Come to mama," she smirked as she took a long pull at the jug.

"Good sake?" The Hokage spat out her mouthful of liquid, hurriedly scrubbing the wine off her face as she turned to face the newcomer. Jiraiya was hovering outside the window to her office.

"Oh, Jiraiya. It's you." The Hokage turned to her work, trying to appear as if she had been diligently working. Then she did a double take. "Are you _flying_?"

The toad sage did a few midair spins and then came to a stop in front of the window. "That newcomer taught me how. Pretty simple once you get the hang of it. Something about throwing yourself at the ground and missing."

Tsunade sighed and shook her head. "Great, just what we need... A flying Jiraiya. I'm going to need to install anti aircraft turrets in the bath houses."

With a dexterous dive Jiraiya squeezed in through the window of the office and gave a low bow. "Actually, that's why I came. I wanted to tell you that until further notice, I've given up my... er, research. Instead, I will be writing a book on how a lonely monk reformed and settled down for a life of chaste and gentlemanly heroicism." He noticed Tsunade's completely disbelieving stare. "Yes, I can fly now," he said solemnly. "I have been given a great power. But with great power comes great-"

"That's what, the fourth blatant external reference this chapter? Shut up or you're gonna make the readers think the author has no creativity whatsoever."

Jiraiaya turned to the reader. "Hey, no worries!" he waved and smiled reassuringly. "I promise, we'll keep Cyber in line for the rest of the series!" Darn them. Can't I have even a little fun? Jiraiya laughed at me. "No, you can't."

Tsunade rebuilt the fourth wall and turned back to Jiraiya. "I don't believe you for a moment, but I suppose this is the point where I ask 'why?'"

The Toad Sage grinned a shiny white smile. "For you, honey, for you." He pointed his fist towards the window. "Away!" With a sudden WHOOSH he was gone. Tsunade sighed and went back to her sake. Apparently this was going to continue for the next thirty chapters. She only hoped she had enough sake.


End file.
